


12th Avenue

by aireneria0



Category: EXO (Band), KrisHo - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 15:06:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10879311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aireneria0/pseuds/aireneria0
Summary: The first few days after Yifan's exit from the group, Junmyeon finds himself in a state of longing. He just didn't expect Yifan to leave him one last letter before he went away.





	12th Avenue

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: this was done months after Kris left EXO in 2014. i only posted it late in ao3. super duper late.

After a warm bath, Junmmyeon went straight to claim his bed as reward for a long day's worth. Hair still slightly damp, he gently shakes his head and tries to keep himself awake and ponders instead of whatever is going on in the world until his thoughts landed upon an area in his mind that Wu Yifan claimed as his permanently. Unforgettable scenes flashed vividly across his mind, and as the most recent events gradually catch up to him, tears unknowingly trickled down his cheeks, tracing their moist path all the way down the towel he still has on his lap.

 

 

Yifan decided to leave the group for certain personal and, most especially, health reasons and as basic etiquette between friends, he opted to respect Yifan's privacy for a while, to give the Chinese male some space and time to put everything in order before he could verbalize and answer Junmyeon's impending concerns, or at least, his how-are-you's.

 

 

Among all the types of bonds that existed between the two that kept them together for years, one that both of them would never ever give up for all the world could offer was that precious friendship that endured adversities dumped unto it by life itself, the one they have as lovers just behind it. Because they were both mindful of their youth and the myriad possibilities that may come their way was why they valued their prior relationship more than the latter. Had they promised each other words that hang upon fickle chances in life, Junmyeon and Yifan were aware that it could tear them apart and leave a heart or two in despair for quite a long time.

 

 

Despite the misgivings, guarded by their loyalty and affection to one another, both bonds have been secured way too high to be disrupted and brougt down by passing circumstances. Making friends is sure a tough job but keeping friendships is much of a harder task when distance plays an antagonistic role against it; what more towards that delicate red thread that ties them together as lovers? While friendships require investment of all sorts, including time, affection, and love most importantly, at some point, separation is bound to happen. No matter how much one puts into it what it needs to grow and to prevent change from happenning, nothing stays as happily ever after as only fairytale endings do.

 

 

Both Junmyeon and Yifan have given and received equally and sincerely in this relationship that they share. Even before it all started, they were aware, though vaguely, that nothing stays the same and clearly enough, they both overlooked the thought and made the most out of what is presently given unto them: the chance of trodding past new thresholds that lead to undiscovered emotions that bloomed apparently with them being somewhat unaware of it at first. That they pursued careers together while looking after each other's back more than they do to the other members. That they shared secret-bearing whispers and thoughts as discreet as possible whenever and wherever they went, holding nothing but each other’s attention that meant everything to the two in each of those several moments they spent together.

 

 

Hurtful things have happened but fate needs none of their approval to make a move on its own, regardless of the preceeding effects and consequences.

 

 

Every memory that Junmyeon had hold onto seems all so distant now...

 

 

Although the sudden turn of events left them all in shock of varying degrees, Yifan did one last thing before he flew off back to China: he left a letter in the pocket of Junmyeon's favorite coat, the one he had worn only for when the two of them were either on dates or other special occasions. They weren't able to meet for several days so Yifan's resort was to text and email him. "Remeber that coat you were wearing that I adored you so much in on every occasion we've celebrated together? There's one little thing that I left for you in one of its pockets.

 

 

As he shoved the other hanged articles towards the other end of the rod to prepare his outfit for tomorrow, Junmyeon remembered the night he found the folded paper, the night after he, on behalf of the other members, received their award on stage all by himself after their comeback performance in a music show. It was the same night where he became aware of his mind being in utter chaos it almost sucked him inwardly, nearly trapping him in such a horrible void. Fortunately, his body naturally worked being on auto-pilot mode so he somehow managed to keep himself from shattering, saving him from the public's scrutinizing and pity-filled eyes. The male had not been able to recall from how he got changed to when he had travelled his way to his supposedly peaceful dreams that night. However, Junmyeon didn't remember dreaming of anything pleasant that night.

 

 

The next day he woke up still in one piece yet he feels as if his body isn't intact anyhow. The day before was a day which he never would have dreamt of having again in his entire life, a day that had him spiralling into a void where illusion of broken mirrors are present wherever he set his eyes on. Junmyeon is all too familiar and attached to all the scenes in every piece that it almost had him drowning in either absolute bliss or dismay. All from their days back then when they were these awkward yet high-spirited dreamers training their way up to where they are now, he dearly reminisces in each moment that his senses were able to record in his mind and heart to keep.

 

 

Now, everything seems like a big mess he never thought would have happened to his group, to his members. Most especially to himself and Yifan.

 

 

As sluggish as he could ever feel, he set his mind to focus just this one time and slowly shuffled onto his feet then proceeded to open his black sleek dresser to get the note Yifan left. Wanting to assure himself for the nth time that everything that happened wasn't just a product of his stupid and overbearing imagination, Junmyeon reaches to search for it. He slipped his hand inside one of the pockets of his favorite coat and felt the thin smooth surface of the folded note he was looking for.

 

 

One more thing that he sets out straight to himself before unfolding the note is that being in-denial of this issue isn't getting him any closer to feeling even a little bit better. He has to willingly start absorbing the facts, start streaming along this world's hostile pace once again and hopefully silver linings will guide him to finding better days.

 

 

For one moment, he recalls that this isn't exactly the first time he'll be reading those inked words without taking its toll on him. All the emotions that he could ever tap on how he felt last night while reading it–pain, sadness, and even happiness with regards to respect and appreciation–came crashing down on him that he was understatedly overwhelmed, drowned forcibly by pressure from all sides, all in just a night.

 

 

Holding the paper, he went back to his bed and laid there for the next couple of hours, since they don't have scheduled activities for today, then held the folded white piece of thoughts in the air above him. That moment he laid there with the blinding morning sunrays seeping into the curtains, he read the words he thought Yifan should have told him personally.

 

 

 _“_ _Junmyeon, I'm not saying goodbye so please don't...don't cry...”_

 

 

_...Saying that when you know how I am... you're so dumb, Yifan._

 

_“Junmyeon, don't waste your precious tears over something like this. I'm sorry cause I couldn't be there to hold you and tell you everything's fine cause I know that's not true right now. I'm sorry for all this pain I caused you, for leaving like this, for my decision, for everything.”_  

 

 

_...Saying sorry when you shouldn’t even be..._

 

_“I just can't bear to leave when you're here, knowing that you won't let me off that easily. This is not the end so you have to be stronger and shine brighter in the days to come by. Please don't worry for me and all of you better take care of yourselves. Though I won't be around you to protect you in airports anymore, promise me you won't get buried in crowds and hang around the taller guys, alright? Hahaha kidding, okay? So smile and don't make that pretty face of yours frown. You're so cute pouting like that but you're even more beautiful smiling, love. Now you have to protect yourself for you, the others, and me. I miss you and tell the kids that too, okay? If they give you troubles, ring me up and pass the phone to them so I can scold them for misbehaving or anything. And I promise I'll keep in touch and... “_

 

 

_Are you so stupid so as to laugh even in a hand-written note that's supposedly a sad one?_

 

 

_“I'll be back. Maybe not for reasons you’re expecting, but please let me come back into your life someday....Please...”_

 

_Don’t make me seem like an even more anticipating idiot than I already am, Yifan. You know I’ll always leave a door open for you...because..._

 

_“I love you..._

_WYF”_

 

_..I love you too, Yifan..._

No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't stop the tears from pooling behind his lids, couldn't stop them from overflowing and trickling down his pale cheeks.

 

 

"Stupid, Fan, did you have to drag my height into this?" he chuckled emptily through the evident pain in his hoarse and breaking voice, remembering vividly how Yifan and he walked past the multitudes of fans holding banners and cameras, hand in hand, and at times, Yifan's hands locate his shoulders or waist just to pull him closer to him to keep Junmyeon safe.

 

 

"And I'm not weak..." Junmyeon convinced himself no matter how vulnerable he feels at the moment.

 

 

"I'll worry when I want to..."

 

 

"But I can't promise you that your words can keep me from crying..."

 

 

"So please keep your promise... just please, come— come back to me, Fan—" Junmyeon willed himself to finish his words but his chest kept stabbing him from the inside out while his tears ceaselessly slide their way down his face. All of it gave him away to bursting out, causing him to be unable to utter even another coherent syllable.

 

 

Those memories that flew by, imprinted and are certainly kept, if not engraved, in the confinement of their hearts would forever be cherished their whole lives. That's the only assurance that Junmyeon keeps to himself and it’s more than enough for him.

 

 

Knowing that he had been very happy and that Yifan felt the same way too was enough to guide him back on track.

 

 

No matter what, he should move on. He'll start again from this point on. He’ll wait with a smile and live again.

 

_I'll be fine..._


End file.
